Who is This Mr. Claus
Posted by Ryan Woods
"...He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry. You'd better not pout, I'm tellin' you why. Santa Claus is coming to town..."
What in the world is that song talking about!!!!???? I've been thinking about that song all night while at work and I've come to the conclusion that Santa is one of two things. He is either God. Or he is creepy stalker man with large beard. There is really no in between. So lets poll! Who is this Santa man (if that is his real name)?
Arguments for God:
- He sees all and know all
- He shows up every Christmas (kind of like Jesus)
- He likes to give gifts
- He punishes those who are undeserving (lump o' coal)
- He has a big grey beard (like God)
- He's got a large heart.
- He's jolly, but quite firm
- He can fly (albeit with reindeer, but lets not split hairs)
Arguments for Molester:
- He's an old fat man who is obsessed with children
- He like kids to sit on his lap all day long while whispering their hearts desires in his ear
- He sneaks into peoples locked houses at night
- He sees you when you're sleeping
- He watches and knows everything that you do
- He keeps a detailed list of all that you do
- His life/factory is run by elves (aka, little boys)
- He only comes once a year and when he does it's in the chimney.
Ok, lets pick sides.
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