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CSI Vancouver  

Posted by Ryan Woods


Before I go into the facts I must say that we don't use our mini back yard. We tend to reside in the house, the front yard, and parks. So our backyard is in bad shape. And one side particularly is overgrown with grassy weeds. With that said lets move on to the mystery at hand.
Here are the facts:

  1. Two boards were physically ripped off our locked back gate thus creating a hole big enough for someone to squeeze through.
  2. A worn down path was made in the weeds from the broken gate to our patio cement slab
  3. Near the fence and connected to the worn down path was a bigger matted down area in the weeds
  4. Next to the cement slab there were two nearly brand new New Balance shoes carefully placed side by side as if displayed at a store.
Additional potentially pertinent info:
  1. We live next to a train yard
  2. We live in meth central
  3. There is a small kids wading pool in our back yard
  4. This whole week we spent a majority of our time at my parents house because of Tara, Eric, and Malak
So what's your guess? Come on all you CSI wanna be's, figure out how scared my family should be!

6 additions to the conversation

someone broke into your yard to cool off in your pool while you were gone?

I think a bum or meth addict was sleeping in your yard and possibly bathing in your pool while you were away. then they felt bad for breaking your fence so they left you some shoes for a peace offering. case closed.

is it pc to say "bum" anymore? pretend I said homeless person instead...

well, I'm thinkin that yuck, someone was probably in your kids pool, maybe naked. Did you keep the shoes?

I think that this is iron-clad evidence that Jess no longer allows Ryan to sleep in the house. Since anyone could see this evidence if they were to visit their home, Ryan's "CSI: Vancouver" post is meant to throw us off the trail. Like every good CSI, the evidence points to a logical conclusion (i.e. homeless person), yet we'll discover in the last ten minutes of the episode that it was what we least suspected. Ryan is the homeless person living in the backyard and bathing nude in his children's swimming pool.

Up next on "CSI: Vancouver" we'll probably discover that Ryan is actually a 65-year-old woman and that Jess once killed a man.

i like where your head's at ben, but.... I don't think its Ryan... I mean... Have you SEEN Jess' hair? I think SHE is the culprit. She didn't want Ry to know that she broke The Pact by buying new shoes so she bought HIM some too and just left them in the back yard.

Ps: Have you considered Bear Traps?
also, don't think of doing anything wonderful and meaningful.
Remember how that little mormon girl (Elizabeth Smart. I had to Google it) got kidnapped? It was cause her parents thought they'd do something nice.

I'm just sayin.

Don't let Jess put a new roof on your house or she'll steal one of your kids.

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I am uncertain what to call myself, but my family and I are committed to the people of downtown Vancouver, WA. We are followers of Christ and hope to be a part of a movement of hope, imagination, and transformation in our developing downtown community.

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