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Bacon  

Posted by Ryan Woods

I feel like dying. I literally nearly ate a whole package of bacon today all by myself. It just tasted so good. And I was so hungry. And it was there. And I was there. And I feel like dying. Death may come slowly and unexpectedly through a heart attack, or it may come through the sick feeling in my stomach that I have right this very moment. Either way death will take me because of my bacon consumption. Foolish me.

A note to all my readers:
Please don't eat too much bacon. It's not good for you. It's not good for your cholesterol. It's not good for your self esteem. It's just not good. Take my word for it, even if it sounds cool at the time, do not do it. Please, for the love of Jon Lovitz, don't eat a pile of bacon.

5 additions to the conversation

arwen   says 11:36 PM, January 25, 2007

Dear Readers of AWITP,
if you feel the need to eat a whole sack of bacon, it is true. Don't do it. Please just e-mail me and I will give you my address and you can send it to me. I will eat your bacon.
mmmmm.... bacon.....
thanks,
arwen

tara   says 6:19 AM, January 26, 2007

dear ryan, i truly appreciate the comment, "bacon is not good for your self-asteem"...this is true. bacon does not make me feel good about myself, it does not compliment my new hair cut with bangs, it does not encourage me to strive to reach my goals, it never says words to me that make me feel warm inside. never has.

Anonymous   says 12:36 PM, January 27, 2007

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm bacon....

Lisa   says 12:46 PM, January 27, 2007

I don't love bacon. i like it, but don't love it. i do however love chocolate cake. and on thursday night i baked 2 cakes and 12 cupcakes that neither of us have touched since. i just wanted to bake. so i did, and it didn't do anything for my self esteem either.

tara, i want to see you new haircut. i wish we were still friends that cut our hair together, like every day.

dodyb   says 9:41 PM, January 27, 2007

Ry there is an easy solution to your problem.

Jess and Jones can show you :)

Sorry Jess, I know you feel crappy.
But it would work.

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