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STOP collaborate and listen...  

Posted by Ryan Woods

I've recently been made aware of the fact that I'm not paranoid enough! I had no idea that I needed to be paranoid, but apparently I do. I said that I would be honored for a terrorist to read my blog. I said that I didn't care if a terrorist saw pictures of my family. I said that it didn't bother me if my head turned up on some website pasted onto another mans naked body...or worse...I said, who really gives a rip?
The answer I received was shocking.
Did you know that bad guys read blogs in order to find their prey? Did you know that dirty men and women get sexual pleasure by reading our blogs? Did you know that terrorists find their next victims by blog surfing? Me neither! But it's true I guess. So from now on I will no longer post any pictures of myself, my family, or anyone I love. I don't want to do anything that will hurt those who are precious to me.
So now, I must find some way to urge you to protect yourself from the evil men who like to look at our pictures! Stop putting them on the web! Stop handing your children over to the dark side! STOP! If not for yourself, do it for my child who shall remain nameless. Don't let the villains get us! Get rid of all personal photos, all proper names, anything that might reveal your location, and most of all make sure that you spread the word before a terrorist finds someone you love.
With that said, I would like to post a picture in lieu of a photo of my family....

7 additions to the conversation

arwen   says 1:05 AM, August 22, 2006

ugh. you and Tara look great. Her washboard abs never cease to amaze me. Neither does the abundance of hair on her finely tuned mid-section. I just think it's sad that you didn't let Jenn in the picture.
on a serious note, is this because of "the thing"?

tara   says 8:45 AM, August 22, 2006

what thing? my grandpa? cause hes a bad guy...but seriously, are you really never going to post pics of jonesy?? or of your little family? that makes me sad, its all i have to remmeber you by...i already dont remember what you look like...

Ryan Woods   says 10:07 AM, August 22, 2006

Don't worry sis. This blog was written completely tongue in cheek. See, what I was doing was making fun of some people who don't read my blog and whose names shall remain hidden.
And I'm also a little unclear about The Thing

arwen   says 1:05 PM, August 22, 2006

well... since Tara spilled the beans, yeah. your grandpa. I thought maybe you were being a little serious since WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT YOU KNOW WHO... (do you like it when I just automatically include myself in your family?)
when posting "tongue in cheek"(what's the deal with that saying)(not Kara)(or Jones' birtday party) you must remember to use the sarcasm mark. that is why Ty created it....... (please notice absence of SM.)

Adam Wolfgang   says 9:56 PM, August 22, 2006

BUT...if we live in a state of paranoia, we are not living but only hiding. I don't want to hide.

RoniZee   says 8:26 AM, August 23, 2006

It seems you really could use the sarcasm mark.

Ryan Woods   says 8:45 AM, August 23, 2006

I've never used the sarcasm mark before. It's not that I don't like it, but more it's just that I'm lazy and I don't want to cut and paste. I have a hard enough time getting the energy to find pictures, let alone the mark. I love the mark. I'm just a lazy ass. I type and don't look back. Who needs spell check? Who needs proofing? Who wants links? Puh is what I say.

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