Honesty and a Contrite Heart
Posted by Ryan Woods
Can I be honest with you? I don't know where Fallujah is, I am unclear as to the number of children that Angelina has currently purchased, I don't know how many metals the US has won, I don't know who hosts Nightline, I haven't heard our President speak (aside from this) since the last election, I'm not sure what an astrophysicist does (in fact, I'm not even clear on how to spell the word), and I don't know how to candy walnuts. Does that make me ignorant?
Ignorance is bliss. I am fairly certain that I have never heard anything so true. As long as I don't think about it, I don't care what our president is doing. As long as I plead ignorance Angelina can buy enough children to fill the colors of the roygbiv rainbow. Ignorance allows me to miss Nightline every single night and not miss a beat.
The irony, however, is that if our president through some supreme act of power creates and passes new legislation that outlaws frozen burritos, I will be pissed! This whole idea of ignorance being bliss only works as long as you don't give a wiener about the outcome. Or rather, should I say that it only works as long as whatever outcome that you know nothing about has little to no affect on the way in which you presently live your life.
How do you live your life?
I like to drink a lot of milk 'cause the government gives me a lot of it.
I like to clean my house and create neat ways of storing things.
I like to play games.
I like technology always and forever.
I don't like TV.
I like to pretend that the way I live my life can be described in the terms of what I like and do not like.
I don't like people who run (except for you, my precious and coveted reader)
I like to think that To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar was a mistake for all involved except for John Leguizamo who seems to fit the role quite well.
And finally I would like to suggest that Valentines day will hence forth be referred to as "Love". I think that sounds nice. Not "Love Day", just "Love". "Hello beautiful vixen, can I take you out to dinner to celebrate Love?"
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